we have officially lost it.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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