She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
