how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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