i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
