don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
