somebody snuck up and got me drunk
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Did I show you my penis last night?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
