So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
