I wish I could punch you in the face.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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