How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
