problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
