I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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