everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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