I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
