I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
