I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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