Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
