Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Randomize
