I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
40s are totally the cure
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
