We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
They took my balls.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize