I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize