Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
