Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
