I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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