All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
