I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I understand Curling. That high.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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