She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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