Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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