should my penis look like a turkey
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
