i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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