walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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