They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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