We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
