We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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