Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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