i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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