i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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