how can u be prego again
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
