Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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