It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
