Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my sisters under your porch take her home
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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