You smell like stripper and shame
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
