I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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