apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There r osticjed everywhere
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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