fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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