your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
