Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
