i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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