Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
