I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
