I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
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cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
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I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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