he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
