Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
