I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
