FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I would ride that face into the sunset
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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