If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
