New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
