what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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