How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
