We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
