I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
