Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
