Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
