there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
