idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
