Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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