i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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